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16 August 2018

what happens now?

i don't know how it's happened, but over the last few months i have become totally boring. i have been coming in from work, cooking dinner, and watching netflix. or going to the gym - or both. but what i haven't been doing is socialising very much. i've just not really been in the mood for it; i guess i find socialising hard at the best of times, and when my life is already stressful (read: work. work is stressful), i find socialising even harder than normal. and then, when i don't do anything interesting, i don't have anything interesting to write on here about. and wanna know something? this is also the first time in years that i don't have many active blog collaborations in the super immediate pipeline, which is kind of scary.

thinking back on the last few years, i had a lot going on. from restaurant reviews to weekends away, to proper travel collaborations, there was always something in my inbox, waiting to be activated, ready to write about and promote in my own special way. but as of right now? there isn't much. that means no drafts, very few plans, and not a lot to look forward to. and actually, i knew this day would come, when all my mojo dried up and things would slow down, and don't get me wrong: i am so damn proud and privileged to have been part of that whole ride, and i will always be grateful for the opportunities that i had when i did, but.. what happens now? 

well, the truth is that now my life is exposed as ultra-ordinary. that my up-coming holiday plans have had me scrimping and saving like my life depends on it, and leaving me pretty bored in the process. that an "exciting night" for me is now bingeing a new sky witness series from the comfort of my bed, multiple fans blowing on me from all angles (because yeah, it's still hot as hell out here). that this is what my life is really like, when i'm not following someone else's itinerary, or menu, or press activity. and to be honest, it's not that interesting.

it's no secret that the "industry" is changing, and so with it must the way that brands and businesses invest their money, and because small-time hobby bloggers don't have the same influence and affect that they once had, that means we're being let go. and that's cool, i get it. i work in this industry so i knew it was coming, but i don't think i had prepared for it! it has been slowing down for a while, but i'm not ready for it all to stop. i mean, i'm not planning to stop, because it'll never be in me to quit being a narcissit, but what i can't carry on doing is travelling as much as i have been. you wanna know why? because i'm about to buy a flat.

ha, i say that like i'm about to exchange, and trust me: that's not happening any time soon, but it's on the horizon. i now spend what spare evenings and weekends i have free looking at all the flats i can't afford and comparing them to the ones i can. and listen, when i say "can afford", what i mean is "thanks to the wonder that is shared ownership" - yeah, there's no way i can afford to but a flat in london a) alone, or b) in full, so i have applied for shared ownership - and been approved. if you don't know what that is, it's essentially when you purchase a percentage of a property, and pay rent on the rest. it used to be called "rent to buy", and now it's not. and looks like, i can actually afford a very small amount of a flat in london, so that's my next great hurrah. exciting, no?

i mean, that's not happening any time soon. that's something for the new year, but it's something to look forward to, and something that will bring something different to my life. in the mean time, i have a big birthday trip to new york planned for september, and then a couple of weeks away over christmas, but not much else in the interim. no day trips, one weekend up north, no blog drafts to finish (well, that's a lie, as i still have two from japan and one from portugal that are impossible to write because i don't have the words still), so i guess what i'm saying is.. things are going to be a little quiet around here for a bit, until something interesting happens in my life again because i am quite sure you don't want to hear reviews of the murder podcasts i am listening to, or the crime shows i am binge watching at the moment. until then, you can catch me over on instagram, obvs.