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26 May 2021

[ad] 20 reasons why being in my thirties does not make me an adult

there's a meme floating around that i see at least once a month that basically sums up my inability to be an adult in the way i expect other adults to adult at the ripe 'old' age of 36, which says:

i'm quite sure that when i was a kid, being in your thirties meant you were olllllld (i mean, my mum had me at 30, so she was already an adult then!), and that you were most definitely an adult by any definition of the word, but now that i myself am in my thirties, i am here to tell you the myriad of reasons i am absolutely not the adult i expected someone my age to be.

here are twenty reasons that explain:

1. i recently had to ask my mum how to get rid of black mould on my living room walls.

2. when something happened to peanut last week, i just cried because i didn't know what else to do.

3. i had to ask my neighbour what the building insurance covered, and if i needed to get my own home insurance for the stuff inside.

4. i can't work out why there is water pooling in my fridge so instead of solving the problem, i leave paper towel in there to soak it up.

5. i still don't rinse my dirty dishes before putting them in the sink despite being yelled at by my dad to do it every day of my childhood..

6. i have google the difference between baking soda and baking powder (and the many types of flour)(and sugar)(it's easier to just not bake, i think).

7. i wonder daily if antiseptic and antibacterial are the same thing?

8. i don't have any kind of first aid kit, or end of the world preparation, at all. not even a torch.

9. i wonder daily how the boiler actually works?? and, is that covered by my insurance, or no? and, is there a comparison site for this type of insurance, if so?

10. at least once a year i have to ask how to make [insert childhood dish here] the same way my mum did when i was a kid.

11. i've reaslied that steam baths are hard work when you're the sick one, and also the one making the steam bath.

12. daily i wonder why the oven even has more options that the 200 degree fan one? what do all the others even do?

13. i often also wonder who even needs more than one frying pan? the one big one does it all?

14. up until recently i wanted to know what *exactly* is a mortgage and how do you go about getting one? now that i have one, i'd like to know how to get out of it.

15. recently, when doing some light diy and when i was knocking on the wall before hammering a really long nail into it, i thought to myself: what am i supposed to be knocking for exactly?

16. i had to ask the vet to show me how to give peanut a tablet because.. my mum always used to give my pets their tablets when i was a kid.

17. before this week i had no idea how to use the grill on my oven, and had to text pictures of it to my pals to have them explain it to me..

18. i also do not know how to set the clock on my oven. there's something about the oven that just makes it the most confusing appliance???

19. i'm 36 years old and still eat until i feel sick, not until i am full.

20. i've lived in my flat for two years; last month my neighbour showed me how to turn the bathroom fan on..

look, there are loads of other reasons why being in my thirties does not necessarily make me an adult by default, but i think you get the point. for now, i'm off to eat some toast for tea - a suitable and adult dinner food, i'm sure you'll agree.

this post was written in collaboration with mustard.co.uk, but all thoughts are my own.

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