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21 April 2017


hi there, hello. i am about to have a moan. that doesn't happen often, because i try to keep this space fairly positive and carefree and pink and sparkly, but as i write this (probs a week before you read it), i feel none of those things. i'm sick - yet again - and it sucks (update: still sniffly). it comes after a really wonderful weekend spent with some really awesome people, and a night of work drinks where a lot of problems were solved and connections were re-made. after another couple great weekends away - with the girls, with rebekah, with a boy; a boy who's really, really great and made me feel wonderfully happy for the first time in a long time. and after the sun finally came out, the rain stopped, and summer seemed in sight. after all that, and i still managed to get sick. again.

and - not to be that guy, but: do you know how hard it is to get a doctor's appointment in london? i hear these urban myths about "same-day" appointments and laugh. good joke. i'm not going to bemoan the nhs because i get it, and i understand the struggle. but my god, i just want to feel healthy again! so, i've made an appointment for a month from now to see if i can get referred to an allergy specialist - as i'm sure it's not my immune system - and until then, i'll do some research of my own.

about a hundred years ago when i lived in new zealand, a doctor once diagnosed that i was allergic to something specific in the air. a pollen, a pollutant, a chemical - they weren't sure what exactly, but it wasn't my health. i was perfectly fine, other than i was obviously allergic to something. well, i feel like that's a problem i'm facing again. because, it can't just be that i'm always sick. i can't possibly be this unhealthy; i eat well (enough), exercise (enough), and look after myself (well enough), and this constant sniffle, sneeze, and tickly cough is just balls. and i've had enough.

shirt dress c/o apricot | jacket : blue inc | boots : primark

in the meantime, i'm going to (try to) keep a food diary, in case something i'm eating or drinking is causing it, in the hopes it's not environmental. because, they only way out of environmental allergies is.. to move. and, i just don't think i've got that in me again. not while i'm feeling this sniffly, anyway! i jest. well, not about the diary. i read a lot of info about sinus problems (what i suspect mine is, as the face and the nose are the biggest hit by whatever these allergies are), and some of the main culprits were dairy, wine, and not drinking enough water. tick, tick, and massive tick.

so, a new regime is taking over: cutting out the dairy, increasing the water, and going to thoroughly test which wines might cause the issue, because for me, cutting out dairy seems easier than cutting out wine. is that ridiculous..?