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4 October 2014

sketch | conduit street, london

hey! did you know that it was my birthday last saturday? hahaha. this will be the last post on the subject, i promise. having spent the weekend before celebrating my birthday with all of my friends, i wanted to have a fairly subdued technical birthday, and do a few things for me. i kicked off the day with a deep tissue massage, ate some left over chinese food during the day, tried on a zillion outfits before deciding on the one, and then googled how the hell to get into town with no trains running from my station (hint: i had to get a bus to brixton and then the tube in. dire).

i made it in eventually, as did the ninety zillion nfl fans, who - for some reason, descended upon london all at the same time, and pretty much effected me getting to the places i wanted to go, on any kind of regular schedule. thanks for that, team. i met with carmen and louise on carnaby street, and we made our way over to conduit street for our (early bird) reservation at 5:30.

having never been to sketch, i knew which one it was as soon as i saw it. there's a faceless dog walking down the wall outside. that's... that's your giveaway. inside, it's no less weird. from the gallery in the pink parlour that's been curated by david shrigley, to the rainforest exhibit in the glade, through to the breakfast parlour where we finally were seated, nothing inside that place was normal. and that's all before you get to the intergalactic bathroom eggs upstairs.

we were shown to an empty table in the parlour by a super excitable host, and began discussions about what to order. carmen and i settled for a fruity cocktail to begin, then i chose the lobster and mango burger from the tapas menu while the girls went for the steak and chips option from the main menu. we didn't have to wait too long for the meals, and so were eating before too long.

the burger i'd ordered came out as two portions of mini burgers (i should have known, it was from the tapas menu after all), and was delicious! it was like a lobster mornay (shredded lobster in a chilli sort of mayo), with a mango chutt-en-ay of some sort. it was incredible. i was properly stoked that there were two of them. also stoked that the girls' meals came out with giant serves of chips, because mine didn't and i really wanted some, and so i just basically ate theirs. thanks girls!

the service in the parlour was pretty excellent up until the point we actually needed to ask for things, and then... it kind of became non-existent. steak knives came out a while after the steak, meaning they'd already begun to cool. i'd asked for a glass of water with my cocktail, and had to ask again during my meal for it to come. after our meals we asked to see a dessert menu, and that also never came. it was a real shame that the fab service we'd initially received on entry did not survive the whole experience. i mean, we were there about an hour and a half all up, and it was pretty early and they weren't too busy either.

all in all, it was a fun place to eat. it certainly wasn't a cheap dinner, and so not one i would do very often, but for a special occasion and with the right company, it was well worth it. now i've been though, i don't know that i'd go back. it's ticked off, now... next!

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  1. Ah im desperate to try afternoon tea here. Heard good things!

  2. I hate when places don't really live up to the hype, but as you say its one of those now I can say I did it situations and move on

  3. The dog looks cool, at least..


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