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18 October 2012

a passing mood

 lets start with something fun:
i've been feeling a bit low the last couple of weeks. caused in part by the land lady saga that is ever present, in part by work making me want to tear my back teeth out, and part feeling generally uninspired.

i started this blog as an outlet for all my random musings because - as facebook continues to evolve, it doesn't allow that community presence anymore. it used to be that you could update something trivial and hilarious and jovial and enter into an hour long conversation with people - "friends", from all over the world, and get some kicks at the same time. now, my feed is full of people i don't know or care about "liking" random shit that someone they don't know also liked and shared. there's no real "friendly" atmosphere anymore. and that sucks.

blogging allows something entirely different. It allows complete strangers to bond over mutual likes or dislikes. It brings together communities of like-minded people, who are more than willing to read your drivel and satisfy your ego. as long as you do the same in return. which i do, because i want to be a "good blogger".

not that i know what that means. i'm not trying to make people read my blog, and i'm not up on all that shameless self promotion that some bloggers are into. dude, i just love to write. i think i'm ok at it, endearing, witty, clever, sometimes funny.. i don't necessarily think there's an art in blogging, you just have to find your niche, and work out what you want to get from it. i was hoping for inspiration on how to be a better me. not how to be the next online phenom, or gain some recognition and ego boosting from strangers. well, that's kind of a lie. i want people to read what i write. i want to engage and be engaging. i want people to want to be a part of my blog. i want to be invited to press events, or review products. i want the free stuff. i do want all of that. i just don't know how to get there without the self-promotion.

since i started this blog, i got right into diy again, which is something i used to love doing. i even got a sewing machine. i had all these grand plans to build a hair accessory empire! i made a shit ton by hand, and even sold a few. i promoted a bit, and talked about it a bit, and then it sort of just... died. i give up when things don't work, i don't persist which i should. i hate failing. i hate not winning. i hate not being the best. and now, i'm just rambling. and you're still reading. and i don't want you to feel sorry for me, or think less of me for feeling this way. i am a creative person, but recently, i've been a right mizzog (this word comes courtesy of carmen ) and that's blocking my outlet. and that makes me sad.

so, now i have a sewing table, i am going to fix all of the dresses that need altering, and hope that inspires me a bit to keep it up.

do you have anything that needs repairing?

sorry for the moan. i needed it.