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18 August 2017


as part of my annual "make sure all your bits are in working order" assessment, i booked in an eye test with david clulow. it was the first eye test since that last time the optician told me that i absolutely do not need glasses and she refused to refill my prescription for me, and i promptly left her office, put my glasses back on, and carried on with my life as if it had never happened. why? because she was then and is still now wrong, because when i wear my glasses i see better. it's as simple as that. or.. something.

but then the optician at david clulow in covent garden sort of had the same diagnosis. after a very thorough eye health test where gary the optom spent 20 minutes manually adjusting lens after lens after lens, asking me to choose the brighter of the red or green, which line is the clearest, and if this one was sharper than that one, he drew the conclusion that: i have excellent vision and i do not need glasses. i'm baffled, and told him as much.

he was really nice about it though, and tried to come to some sort of conclusion for me. maybe it's the protective coating on my glasses that stop the glare on my computer screen. maybe i did have bad eyes once upon a time and wearing glasses has improved them, thus making me feel like i need to wear them when really i don't. maybe, actually, it's just psychosomatic, and i've invented yet another health concern that doesn't actually exist.

that's me in a nutshell, really, isn't it. inventing symptoms and letting the medically trained tell me i'm perfectly healthy and in no way in need of their assistance. so, to make myself feel better about this fact, i let the store manager shaun talk me into a pair of sunglasses - not prescription ones, because, have you been reading? but, regular ones. because they sell those in there too - not just reading glasses, but like, a whole *exclusive range* of ray bans and the like that even other sunglasses stores in london don't sell. so that's pretty cool, don'tcha think?

what's even cooler is that these are my first ever (real) ray bans, and they're just so bloomin' pretty. they're an exclusive "clubmaster round" style which is pretty classic, but with a nice, modern twist. the tortoise shell frame is a really nice colouring too; usually tort comes in all shades of brown, but these are like a golden orangey yellow, which are a bit more "me" than most. they fit my face like a dream (i have a small head), and make me look so ridiculously cool, so that's definitely helping me get over the pain of being perfectly healthy...

*eye health test and sunglasses gifted by david clulow, but all words are mine.

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