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23 October 2018

expectation versus reality

oh, okay, i know i made it out to be awful, when in reality - our trip to new york was anything but. it had it moments, sure; where nothing went to plan, and i was frustrated, disappointed, and pissed off with how it seemed to be working out, but also: it was awesome in equal measure - especially when it did come together, we found the perfect back-up plan, or when, something became so ridiculous that all we could do was laugh about it (or, you know, drink our sorrows away).

you know how they say that comparison is the thief of joy? i think it was very that. i had a friend (charlie - you know charlie!) out in new york exactly one week before me, and her trip looked amazing. but, that's the point of social media, isn't it - you show people the highlights. i'm.. very much a realist and i tend to over share. the good, the bad, the ugly, which meant that what i was choosing to share was maybe not edited down to all the good bits, and rather, i was focusing more on the bad bits.

then, as we landed back in the uk, another friend headed out there. she stayed in central manhattan, walked everywhere (comfortably), had better weather, and ate in so many more "prettier" and "instagrammable" places. so naturally, i'm looking at our grey, weathery, grungy, and more suburban trip through the "people prefer pretty holiday content" lens and totally forgetting that.. well, that's not really me? like, i like pizza and fries and beer and dogs in rickety cafes in back yards, and not fancy cocktails on rooftops in upmarket parts of town; a holiday like that would make me feel less me, would be less enjoyable, and probably would have made me feel the way i do about it all anyway.

truth be told, i'm generally a very "glass half empty" kinda gal anyway, but i do think i was comparing our trip to all of those that have happened before me, and happened via the medium of instagram. i do need to remember that i am out here making my own memories, and i shouldn't ever compare my stories and truths to anyone elses. because my truth: new york wasn't what i wanted, but it was still great fun, an adventure, and i had an awesommmme time.

that's what i think, anyway, because if i had just taken the trip with a grain of salt, i'd have realised in the moment that "shit happens", plans get messed up, and not everything is going to be awesome, all the time. and that's ok. and, most importantly, i don't need to have an instagrammable holiday to have a good one. and you know what? i had a good one - a really, really good one.

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