top : new look | skirt : george | shoes : new look | lippy : sephora | ring : pandora : clutch : house of fraser | diamond earrings : f. hinds | maxi dress : house of fraser
not sure if you're aware or not, but i was recently nominated and shortlisted in the thirty plus awards, under the category of "most addictive blog". i was not only totally shocked by this incredible news, but more... in disbelief more than anything. whereas a lot of awards are a bit of a popularity contest, these awards required firstly a nomination from someone (thank you, whoever you are), then a panel of judges had to verify those nominees, and whittle down a shortlist.
there were over 4000 nominations. i can't even begin to imagine the effort it would have taken to verify all of those blogs, then judge them to decide if they fit the criteria. again, thank you to those involved in that part of the process. so, still, after all that, this little patch of angst managed to make it out into a shortlist of five, as one of the uk's most addictive blogs in the over thirties space.
that's... not a space i really ever am proud to be in, but when someone's gone to the effort of putting me forward for something, has taken the time to nominate me as their choice of blog, well... i'm hardly going to let that pass me lightly. i am still shocked, honestly. and tomorrow i will meet my competitors at the awards ceremony, nervously drink my glass (or seven) of bubbles, and awkwardly smile when mine - or someone else's name - is read out in that category. because, i'm not full of faux modesty, i am simply nervous.
i write this blog for me, no-one else. when people read it, it am elated. when people comment, i am giddy inside (despite rarely replying). when people nominate me for things that involve large groups of people who are way more into the blogging scene than i am, and put me in direct competition with people whose blogs i genuinely read myself, well, i am terrified.
i am terrified of winning. that's not to say i don't want to, or don't deserve to, but... i hate being the centre of attention (hard to believe, i know), and i have rampant social anxiety. i don't want to win, because it will be embarrassing. i don't want to win, because i will have to stand up and be seen. i don't want to win, because if i do, people will see what a fraud i am; i'm not a "get dolled up" kinda gal, but tomorrow i will have to be, and it will be obvious that i'm uncomfortable and nervous and pah!
so, i do need your thoughts and well wishes. not that i win, because truly i am grateful to have been nominated. i need your confidence. your pride. your strength to smile when i am truly a bundle of nerves. please send them to me, now. do it now. and keep your fingers crossed, just in case.
*written in collaboration with brand; all thoughts are my own*