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19 April 2018

the blues

the blues, oh i've had 'em. know how i've been literally going on and on and on and on about how tired, headachey, sleepy etc i've been lately? well, i did something i never usually do, and googled my symptoms. know what they all seem to stem from? a vitamin b12 deficiency. guess who hasn't been taking her supplements for about four months now? this guuuuy! so, that was quickly rectified - after going through the motions of physio, acupuncture, chiropractic consultation, and regular massages to try and stem the problem at the source, but.. there you go. what's funnier is that i actually stopped taking the b12 in the first place because i couldn't see the benefit they were providing. fool!

so, with b12 back in my blood, and all the other boxes ticked - i should be feeling much better, right! wrong! well actually, yes, right, but until the moment it's not. like, work's good, life's good, got lots of plans coming up that i'm excited by, and yet.. one rude comment from a random tube lady last week had me up in my head so much that i had a wee wobble at the gym where i completely broke, cried into my towel, had a small vomit, then got right back on it. my trainer was a bit terrified, no doubt, but not enough to argue with me about keeping going, though once i was home, i was back in bits. panic attacks you don't see coming are the actual worrrrst. usually i get a sense that one's on the horizon and i can deal with it by seeing it out in time - not this time. this time, my emotions all got the better of me and saw me completely lose it. in public! man, mental disease is the actual balls.

dress and sunnies : monki | biker : miss selfridge | beret : ebay | bag : skinnydip

but, that was last week, and this is now. now, i am well rested from a few good nights of sleep, i am aching from an incredible, testing, strengthening, and empowering training session, i am relaxed from a wonderfully aromatic massage, i am recharged after a spring clean and some casual cooking at the weekend, and i am full of beans. or, full of b12 - whatever. so the only blues i'm feeling now are those vibrant ones courtesy of monki. i've never really liked the colour blue, but in the right circumstance, i reckon i am feeling iiiiiiiit.