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18 July 2015

this list is not complete.

on thursday i had my left hand incarcerated. the initial serving period was four weeks, with a potential good behaviour reassessment toward the end of this month. that's not to say the hand would be freed at that point, it just might be downgraded from maximum security for the remainder of the sentence. this is what we're hoping for; this will be the preferred verdict. why? because not only is it beyond ridiculous to have a cast up to your elbow for a broken pinkie finger, but because life is more difficult with one hand.

things you can't do with only one hand:
type very well, or very quickly
carry very many things
wash or tie up your hair
type fast on your phone
get the tattoo you booked three months ago
read your book on the bus
take hot things out of the oven
use a shopping basket
carry too many shopping bags
get the tattoo you booked three months ago
open a can or bottle
carry a tray of food upstairs
wash your hands
clean the dishes
tie a plastic bag around your incarcerated limb
get the tattoo you booked three months ago
remove nail polish from all ten nails
wear your denim jacket
wear your leather jacket
wear any kind of jacket
put on tights
do up a buckle
fasten the clasps on a bra
tie shoe laces
shave my armpits.
scratch the itch on your incarcerated wrist
get the tattoo you booked three months ago
wear anything with sleeves
squeeze spots
scratch your right shoulder

*this list is not complete.

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thank you for your comment, you lovely thing you.