'weird' doesn't even come close

Friday, 16 January 2015





last week, to celebrate the launch of the cameron diaz (can we just stop for a moment and acknowledge the fact she just married a madden bro? how?!) film 'sex tape' on bluray and dvd, katy, amy and i were invited to a weeeeeeird launch party in the hub of london's seedy heart; soho.  we were promised an evening of pampering and "saucy sex advice" to help "re-ignite your spark". which... helpful, seeing as my last relationship ended almost a year ago, and even then... no. author, blogger and guardian journo zoe margolis was in attendance to talk us through our 'bedroom woes', as well as sex therapist doctor pam spurr on hand to defend our right to be curious, and... this the the point katy and i switched off and started texting each other about other things because we are such massive prudes who aren't made for this sort of affair. no pun intended. and yes, an affair was suggested.

other fun and less weird parts of the night included an incredible photobooth that kept us entertained for far too long, an aromatherapist on hand to teach us how to give a sexy massage and which scents bring all the boys to the yard, a vidal sassoon trained stylist hanging about to zhuzh our heads into the perfect bed-head-esque coiff, as well as -- the best part, a selection of aphrodisiac foods and cocktails to *get us in the mood*. ("the mood for what?" i hear you ask. well, that would be the goody bag that was provided by ann summers. use your own imagination and draw whatever conclusions you must.the cocktails were stroooooong.)(i'm kidding)(not about the cocktails...)

i'd never had proper oysters out of the shell, that had been shucked and prepared - these ones were dripping in passionfruit seeds, and were bloddy delicious! other delicious and fun sexy foods included butternut squash and fetta cheese something somethings, and a little tuna cucumber something else. did i mention the cocktails were good? they were! plus there was a champagne jelly shot with strawberries in it and ohmygod it was the best part of the whole night!

did you know tuna was an aphrodisiac?!

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