on friendship

isn't that the truth, will ferrell... i do say this all the time, but whatever, i'll say it again; when you get to a certain age you stop making new friends, and start collecting your people. your people are much better than friends, they're like a super friend - someone you can shout at and cry in front of and completely lose your rag at, and they've no choice but to be totally cool with it. it's akin to being compelled (i'm watching a lot of vampire diaries at the moment, sorry about that), where you can be a total ass to someone, and they just shrug it off and give you a hug instead. i mean... that goes against basic instinct, which is to get punchy or stab a man for yelling at you, but your people? they eat that shit up for breakfast.

i've had a rough couple of months. on paper, at least. but... i've hardly noticed, if i'm completely honest. i reckon that's got a lot to do with my people (and gossip girl and the vampire diaries), and i can't take any credit for it. i mean, i am a strong and independent woman (hollaaa), but could i have gone through this massive life change of late all by myself? oh haaaaale no i definitely could not have. i have had more supportive text messages, motivational whatsapp group chats, and dodgy tinder profile pictures sent to me over the last few months to keep me smiling for a life time. honestly.

i've always tried to live by the wise words once sung by the incredibly powerful pop-punk legend that is jordan pundik, "i still pick my friends over you". when you're in a relationship though, and you've got your own warm little bubble that means you never have to leave the house in the winter or put pants on in the summer, then you're always going to question whether or not your friends really are your friends if they're making you pick between the two. right? well, no more. if this break up has taught me anything, it's that if amazing people want to hang out with me, then i should let them. no, that's not right. what i mean is, that if i surround myself with positive (and some horribly negative, which is also amazing) people, and fill my spare time with them and their love, then i'm the winner and not them. wait, that's not it either.

i don't really know what i'm trying to say except that i am truly blessed to have the people who love me unconditionally in my life. because, i'm not easy to love at the best of times, and these people make me feel ok about that. some of them love me because of that. some, in spite of it. either way, i definitely win.


to those of you reading this basic rant loosely about friendship who genuinely are my people...  thank you; you saved me.