a few words of thanks

so, on wednesday i shared my newest, most awesome news with you guys, in the longest, most open and heartfelt post i've ever written, and the response i had from you lot on that particular post moved me somewhere near tears. after mentioning in the post that my page views have been dropping, but comments have been on the rise, i woke up to find my views through the roof and opened my emails to ten emails by the time i even got to work. i just simply cannot believe the amount of you who've not only read the amount of words that i'd written, but who took the time to comment, to tweet me, to email me directly, all because of some tiny piece of good news that really only affects me.

that piece was one of the easiest posts i've ever written. i took me probably half an hour to put into words my love for this little hobby of mine, and yet it now stands as one of my most popular posts. over some of the pieces i've spent days crafting to make sure was funny enough, had perfectly edited pictures and made sense, this one real-life piece of my brain that sort of wrote like a bit of word vomit, is the one that got the biggest round of applause.

do i think that's because i was sharing good news and you are all just really polite? no. do i think that's because you all now think i'm going to hook you up with excellent things from my new job? no. well, i'd hope not. what i actually think has happened, is that i've gone "omgyouguysssssi'vegotsomethingtosaaaaay", and you - like any good bloody friend would, sat there and listened. and then when i was done telling you all about me (because despite me sharing every little piece of my life on here, i'm definitely not that girl who over shares on the regular) and the only piece of excellent news i've actually had to share in this whole shit-heap of a year, you sat there and went, "wow erica, that's so awesome, i'm so pleased for you - well done!"

and do you want to know something? that means more to me, than you will ever know.
i don't make friends easily. i'm a bit of a moody cow. i have a terrible case of bitchy resting face, and i'm not really... nice. i'm kind of, sarcy. well, i pretend it's sarcasm; usually it's thinly veiled judgement. whatever. what i'm saying is, that i don't really make friends well. the friends i do have (for real, in the flesh), know how horrid i can be, and still love me and stick by me for it. they're my people; the ones i'd (probably) die for. the ones who'd (probably) catch a grenade for me. or at least give me their last rolo and share their free bottle of prosecco with me. the important things, yeah? they've been collected and curated over time, and i'm more than lucky to have them all in my life.

but you. you're a virtual stranger. honestly, with the exception of a few of you who i have actually had the pleasure to meet, you're all... strangers. which, is horrible to say out loud. because, over the last two and a bit years living here on the internet, i've come to know a lot of you so well. i know your birthdays, we've shared mail, i've been to some of your houses! i know your child's name, where they go to school, what sort of car you drive. you know (now) where i work, the area that i live in, and the faces of a lot of my people. and, i reckon that's all pretty scary stuff, right?

like, that's what they tell you about the internet, don't they? that everyone is scary and mean and a bully and a fraud and wants to kill you. erm... well, what about those people who actually want to jump through the internet and hug you a massive congratulatory hug when you have something exciting to say? or the ones who email you when you're being miserable on twitter and tell you to man up? or the ones that band together and buy you an online grocery shop when you can't afford bread? what about those online people? are they to be avoided at all costs too, or are they ok? i don't even know what i'm trying to say anymore.

what i wanted to say, was a giant thank you, from the bottom of my heart to yours; your kind words and praise when i was least expecting it was the most incredible form of friendship i've witnessed from "strangers", ever. and i saw a geezer buy a frozen drink for the big issue seller that morning. i thought that had made my day. nope. you made my day. you are one of the best friends i've ever had the pleasure to know.

i hope we stay friends for a long time, and that one day i can return the favour.